Learning to Find Self Love is Difficult But Oh, So Worth It

June is a fabulous month. It’s almost summer, the weather is warming up and of course, it’s my birthday. Yes, 28 years ago I was brought into this world. I took my time (like I still do) and showed up twenty-four hours after my mother went into labour. Guess I wanted to make an entrance.

After arriving fashionably late to my own birth, I got right to work (okay, maybe not right to work) on figuring out who I was—and who I still am today. They say that people don’t change. I don’t fully agree with that, but even if we only change minor things about ourselves over the years, I think that the core of who we are remains the same.

Which brings me to what I wanted to talk about this month: Learning to love yourself in every possible way.

If we are who we are, then we better learn to love ourselves or it’s going to be one hell of a life.

And not in a good way. It’s a total cliché, but you are the only you in the world. Why waste your time trying to be someone else?

However, even I’ll admit that I’ve wished to be someone else at times. Perhaps someone smarter or someone richer. Maybe someone skinnier or with better skin. (My skin used to be and sometimes still is a major insecurity of mine.) But, newsflash: I’m never going to be anyone but me. Deal with it, girlfriend.

It can be incredibly tough to accept yourself inside and out. Trust me, I’ve struggled with this plenty over the years. Being bullied definitely didn’t help—but once you choose to ignore negativity and choose to be your fiercest self, things just sort of… click. You know?

READ MORE: 30 Pieces of Advice I’m Giving Myself for My 30th Birthday

Manifestation and the power of thought carry so much weight in how you feel about yourself. And same goes for the people you choose to surround yourself with. There are few things in this world that drag you into the mud faster than a Negative Nelly as a BFF. Do yourself a favour and cut them loose before you even finish reading this post.

Another thing you can do right now is stop fixating on your so-called “flaws.” Find ways to work around them and learn to be happy with what you have. Sometimes I think my lips are too thin, so I over line them. If I’m tired of having bone straight hair all the time, I’ll curl it. I’ve literally been trying to get abs for the last year and I’m not quite there, but I’m constantly working towards my goals and learning to be completely obsessed with myself, my progress, and who I am.

Not in a creepy narcissistic way though. Ugh. Definitely not.

Anyway, it’s taken me a long time to be truly happy with myself. I started feeling beyond fierce when I was about 25 and I’ve only gotten more confident since. I believe in myself, I appreciate the things my body can do, I surround myself with likeminded people, I take care of my health, I dress in way that make me feel good, I religiously cleanse my skin, and I tell myself how much I mean to… me.

It sounds really awkward, but there’s something supremely effective about writing down things you love about yourself and reading it aloud. Or things that you want to achieve or learn to love. Recently, I wrote down all of my goals on a piece of paper, as well as cut out influential quotes, and stuck them on the wall beside the mirror that I do my make-up in every morning. It’s working wonders.

There’s one quote in particular that I want to leave you with. It says:

“You need not apologize for being brilliant, talented, gorgeous, rich, or smart.”

So, go out there, believe in yourself, love yourself and live your best life.

—ᴍᴍᴍ