The Link Between Dating and Thrift Shopping
Every used item of clothing you come across has had a previous life. Someone wore it, loved it, used it, and ultimately, threw it back into the garment pool. And isn’t it the same for romantic partners? Whether we discuss it or not, everyone has a past. Although it’s not as easy to spot wear and tear in a man as it is in a blouse with a rip at the seam or a pair of jeans that are just a little too distressed.
Dating and thrift shopping share a common thread in the pursuit of unique finds. Both activities require patience and a keen eye for hidden gems among the vast array of options available. Just as dating involves getting to know someone beyond the surface level, thrift shopping involves looking beyond the initial appearance of an item to see its potential value. The thrill of discovering something special, whether it’s a vintage piece of clothing or a meaningful connection with a person, fuels the excitement in both endeavours.
Both dating and thrift shopping emphasize the value of looking beyond the obvious, appreciating the history and potential in what may initially seem ordinary. After all, a classic white T-shirt may seem boring on the rack but could also go with dozens of other items in your closet. A classic man has the same promise. Although, you don’t want him going with dozens of other items. If you catch my drift. (Or should I say, thrift?)
My friends and I are big thrifters. Some of us have also been big daters. However, most of us have found our perfect fit. Garments or guys? Well, both. We’re mostly paired up and have sustainable wardrobes to boot. One of our favourite items to thrift are blazers. Mainly oversized men’s blazers. We’ve found some with personalized embroidery or monogrammed labels on the inner breast pocket, and of course, we’ve googled the guy. There are so many questions: Who was he? Where did he work? Is he a power-hungry hunk? Check, check, and cheque, please.
Every garment, just like every person, has a history.
Thrift shopping and men both share the allure of hidden histories waiting to be uncovered. Within the aisles of secondhand stores, each item tells a story, carrying the memories and experiences of its previous owners. Similarly, men often present a facade that conceals layers of past experiences and emotions, unknown to anyone but himself. Which, in my opinion, is something men could work on. It’s okay to get in your feelings.
The act of sifting through racks of preloved clothes mirrors the process of getting to know someone you’re dating, gradually unveiling the complexities that lie beneath the surface. In both cases, curiosity and patience are essential in unraveling the mysteries that make each discovery so intriguing. And just like seeing a skirt on the rack that you love but isn’t quite your size, men aren’t always a perfect fit either. Unfortunately, it’s easier to try on a pair of baggy trousers and know they’re not right for you than it is to try on a potential significant other.
It’s also infinitely easier to bring a bad blazer back to the thrift store than it is to block out memories of a bad date.
Above: Five totally thrifted outfits
It may also be unfortunate at times not to be able to wash the history from your romantic partner like you can with your thrift store finds. A small stain on a summer dress? Chuck it in the wash! A small flaw on a handsome man? If it doesn’t mesh with your own flaws, then perhaps it’s time to throw that fish back out to sea. Remember: if it doesn’t fit, it’s not it.
However, like going to a vintage shop with a super specific list of items you want to find, if you do the same with a man, chances are you’re not going to find everything—or anything—that you want.
There was one point in my life where I was hoping to find the perfect pair of leather pants. It was disheartening to go to the thrift store multiple times and leave empty-handed after every spree. It wasn’t until I stopped looking that my friend found me the best leather pants ever. It’s been over five years and I still wear them like they’re brand-new. At least, new to me. The same can be true for dating. I’d all but given up on finding someone to share my life with and then bam! I met my now-husband.
So, whether you’re looking for a new outfit or a new boyfriend, keep an open mind. You’ll find what you’re looking for when you least expect it. And although garments and guys both come with a mysterious past, if you love it/him enough and it/him makes you look good, does it matter?
—ᴍᴍᴍ