Last Saturday, my friend Hanna Shebar launched her new poetry book, Letters You Will Never Read. She hosted the event at Rebecca Molayem Gallery on Fairfax Ave. Over matchas at Andante a couple of weeks prior, she’d asked me to be a part of the line-up for the night. I was honoured. After a little discussion, we decided that The Final Goodbye from my new book Thirteen Emotions would be the perfect story to read. And I was going to be up first. Eek.

Leading up to the event, I was feeling a bit jittery. Public speaking isn’t my forte. Although, admittedly, it is a bit easier when you’re reading something you’ve already written and not winging it or having to dodge questions you don’t know how to answer. Regardless, my stomach was swirling. Then, I went to a yoga sculpt class on Wednesday morning and had the most inspirational teacher. Throughout class she was talking about not giving up on yourself and not letting yourself down. Sure, she was referring to the workout, but it also went deeper than that.

Towards the end of class, she mentioned that “writers write, speakers speak, artists create” etc. And then she told us that she has major imposter syndrome! I never would have guessed. She seemed so comfortable and confident in what she was saying and how she was acting. But maybe it was just that: acting. After class, I went up to her and told her that her class was exactly what I needed to hear because I had a reading coming up that I was feeling nervous about. She told me:

“Try not to tell yourself that you feel nervous. Instead, rewire your brain to believe that you’re excited. That feeling you have? It’s excitement because you’re stepping into who you are and what you’re meant to be doing.”

Whoa. That really resonated with me. This is what I want to be doing. I want to do signings and readings and even a book tour! That’s my dream, so why not start living it? Although, it was easier said than done. I didn’t expect my dreams to hit quite so many bumps.

Me, attempting to get to my reading of The Final Goodbye from Thirteen Emotions at Rebecca Molayem Gallery:

First of all, the twins woke me up at 4:30 that morning. I was beyond tired. So, that was the first blip. Then, I went to hot yoga and had 90-minutes of necessary torture and actually felt really good afterward. Although, I did almost fall asleep in between postures during the floor series. Anyway. The next thing that happened was as I was fashionably behind schedule, rushing to grab my dress that was hanging on my closet door, I slipped in a puddle of my dog’s pee. I wish I was kidding.

Then, after cleaning that up, I got dressed, pulled on my knee-high boots, and called an Uber. I typed “Rebecca Molayem Gallery” as the address in my Uber app and away we went. When the driver pulled over, it looked like the gallery was just up half a block from where we were on the map. So we—my husband and I—dashed out of the car and sped-walked up the sidewalk. No sign of the venue. Huh? I pulled up the gallery on Google Maps and it was showing as a 17-minute walk from where we were. What the…?

I was starting to freak out because I was supposed to arrive before the guests did and now I was almost certainly going to arrive after. At that moment, Hanna texted me to see where I was. I told her what happened and snapped a photo to show her where we were while Andre called an Uber from his app, in case mine was acting up or something.

Phew. The gallery was showing as only a 4-minute drive. We’d be there in no time! Or so we thought. The SUV pulled over to let us out and we leapt out. As the car drove away, we looked around and saw… nothing. Literally a construction site and a boarded up storefront. Once again, we pulled up the address on Google Maps and the gallery was still a 10-minute walk away!

We were flabbergasted. How had this happened twice? It’s never happened to me in all of my years of Uber rides. I don’t get it. Anyway, it was a good thing that I’d decided on kitten heels because we had to pretty much sprint up the street to get to Rebecca Molayem Gallery. We arrived flushed and out of breath, with guests already mingling and the event in semi-swing. Ugh. I felt so bad.

Thankfully, the schedule for the night was running a bit behind as well, so I had time to calm my nerves with a glass of red wine and prepare to read The Final Goodbye.

Reading The Final Goodbye, a short story about losing a loved one

Going up on stage, I truly thought I was going to be puking with nerves. At other times in my life, speaking in front of an audience would have practically made me hyperventilate. However, it was different this time. As soon as the host announced “the talented Melina Maria Morry” all of my hesitations melted away like the ice cubes in my favourite festive mimosas.

Somehow, I felt super confident. I walked right up to the bar stool, set down my leopard-print purse, adjusted the mic, and began. Perhaps, in my thirties, I feel empowered by capturing the attention of a room and not terrified by it. And you know what? I love that for me.

My outfit and the importance of fashion and fiction

Okay, and now a little bit about my outfit. Of course, I knew that the story I’d be reading was going to be a downer. Cancer, death, grief. Those aren’t light topics. However, they’re topics that I feel also deserve a spotlight—but more about that in another post. Due to my story choice, I decided that my outfit needed to be a ray of sunshine. Literally. I went with a bright Jacquemus halter dress that emanated happiness in the fashion sense. I was hoping that when people looked at my outfit, they might see hope and happiness.

After all, wearing bright colours is a simple yet powerful way to spark joy in everyday life. The vibrancy of a sunny yellow dress or a bold fuchsia skirt can instantly elevate one’s mood, creating an aura of positivity that radiates to those around. These hues, reminiscent of blooming flowers and clear blue skies, evoke feelings of happiness and warmth, serving as a visual reminder to embrace the beauty in each day. When we don these lively shades, we not only enhance our personal expression but also invite a sense of playfulness and enthusiasm into our routines, making even the most mundane—or deeply depressing—moments feel special.

This is what I also aim to achieve in my writing. Not only with creating a lighthearted mood through clothing, but being able to show how a character feels and what their personalities are like by describing what they’re wearing and what kinds of outfits they gravitate towards. I think this is super evident in The Manhattan Mishap. However, you can decide for yourself after you read it.

Overall, my reading of The Final Goodbye at Rebecca Molayem Gallery went swimmingly. It was fabulous, fierce, and hinted at the fashion fiction genre that I’ve been ferociously typing away at. I think it’s safe to say that even my sorrowful, heartbreaking stories combine a fashion element or two. Just look at this:

Read a snippet of The Final Goodbye here. If you love what you read, consider buying Thirteen Emotions—either from my bookstore or online from Amazon, Bookshop.org, and more. And please, please, please (cue Sabrina Carpenter) leave a review where and if you can. It helps me out so much!

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