Did I say stay at home mom? I meant a slay at home mom. Obviously. Because even just surviving the day means I killed it. My twin boys, Kai and Ive, are the cutest challenge I have ever faced. So far I’ve survived 22 weeks and counting. Has it been easy? Hell no. Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. And I say that without even a hint of sarcasm.

However, it’s also the most rewarding. That’s said without sarcasm too. It really is insane how much happiness I get just from looking at my babies. Just glancing at them! I swear, all day every day I’m thinking holy smokes I made you. It’s wild. I know women have been having babies for centuries but it doesn’t make it any less mind-blowing to me.

Read More: 7 Things (Good and Bad) I've Learned Over the Past Year

And while we’re on the topic of giving birth and having babies:

No one should be forced to be pregnant and grow a human being inside of them if they don’t want to. It doesn’t matter what the reasoning is. My body, my choice.

Ok, back to what it’s like being a slay at home mom. In my pre-child life, I was a workaholic career woman. And I still am. To a degree. I still have ambitions and goals and want to see my dreams come to fruition. But things look a bit different these days.

I started taking on a light freelance workload at three months postpartum, but even just a few assignments a week are tough to squeeze in. Somehow I’m still sliving. Whether you stay or slay, here are a few stay at home mom myths and truths.

First, let’s break down some SAHM myths.

You have a ton of free time

Ha! Definitely not. It can be hard to find even 20 minutes for yourself. Some days, it’s hard to find five minutes. This morning I couldn’t even brush my teeth alone. I had a baby in one hand and my toothbrush in the other. Free time exists only in the brief napping windows. Even then, my “free time” is usually spent on chores.

You’re bored being at home

Bored? What’s that? “Bored” literally isn’t even in my vocabulary these days. There’s no time to be bored. Especially with two babies. Trust me, slaying at home is anything but boring.

You do nothing all day

Not even close. Most days, bedtime rolls around and it’s like, where the hell did the day go? I pack in what feels like entire week’s worth of stuff into one day. It’s like a marathon. As soon as the twins fall asleep, it’s go time! I’m speeding to my computer, banging out some work, running to the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the bathrooms, putting on a load of laundry. It’s chaos.

Now, some truths about being a SAHM.

Everything you do is a workout

Even if we weren’t still very much in a pandemic, I wouldn’t go back to the gym. Why would I need to? I have two weights at home that keep getting heavier and heavier. It seems like I constantly have a baby attached to me. At one point, the only way Kai would nap was to be wrapped on me. I’m non-stop body building. Pushing them in their stroller is my cardio. Although, I do still try to fit in a nightly yoga class too. I crave my me time.

What “success” looks like to you changes

Before having kids, I measured success by how much I could get done in a day. How many words did I write? What reels was I able to film? Which social posts did I schedule? As a slay at home mom, success looks a little different. It’s more about quality over quantity. Did the babies laugh? That’s success. Were my twins safe and happy? Another success! Sometimes being productive means taking a nap.

The desire to make more mom friends is real

These days, my ideal time to hang out is a Wednesday at 11:30AM. Seriously. Unfortunately, that’s nearly impossible for my childless, working friends. In Toronto, I have one close friend who’s a mom. However, back home in Victoria, almost all of my friends are mamas! Sometimes I just crave adult conversation with the babies nearby.

You become an unintentional sugar baby

As a slay at home mom, “work” in the traditional sense becomes rather elusive. Before giving birth, I was offered a job with a PR firm. However, I had an inkling that raising two babies might be more taxing than I thought and I turned it down. And thank the universe for that. There’s no way I’d be able to work full-time and raise my kids the way I want to. Thank you to my husband for working extra hard and holding down the financial side of things for us.

All my slay at home mamas, raise your hands up at me!

—ᴍᴍᴍ